What are your New Year’s resolutions? Coming from someone who lives a bachelor lifestyle, here are 6 naughty new year’s resolutions from any self-respecting guy:
#6 – Wear boxers/underwear everyday… or not.
There’s a sense of liberation and comfort from not wearing clothes. You should try it sometime. If you live alone or if no one is home, then walk around naked. Exercise naked. Do everything naked. You’ll find that it’s a wonderful feeling. Also, on a related note, don’t wear underwear in public. Wear sweatpants. And dress for comfort.
#5 – Eat more pineapple and fruits
If you Google, “Eat pineapples to smell better”, you’ll find searches that say “How to make your vagina taste awesome.” It’s a fact that eating fruits will make your stuff taste better down there. New Year’s resolution: eat more fruit.
#4 – Flirt with older men/women
Flirt with everyone and anyone, especially older people. Personally, I like to flirt with grandmas. Because they have cookies. And I like cookies.
#3 – Indulge in other people’s fantasies
After playing games like IMVU, I’ve found many people who fantasy about having sex with furry animals. These people are called furries. Now, you might be asking yourself, “why on earth would anyone WANT to have sex with a furry animal?!” I asked myself the same question. And to find the answers, I entertained the thought with different furry-lovers online. To make a long story short: having sex with animals is not my thing. BUT, I did learn a lot about myself. And this is why you should indulge in fantasies. It’s a learning experience.
#2 – Make goals to sleep with 1-3 people per month
It’s good to have a healthy libido. And if you’re having sex on a consistent basis, then it reminds you of all the reasons why you’re sexy.
#1 – Be proud of your body. Work out.
The most important resolution of the new year is to stay healthy and continue working out. If you feel sexy then you’ll have more confidence and be friendlier in social environments. Besides, living a healthy life is the key to success.